I Am a queen.

Photo taken by: Meghan Holmes

My name is Kamilah Gumbs and I am your 2019 Delta Mu Chapter Miss Black and Old Gold.

Two months later, I am still not used to that sentence. On November 8th 2019, I took the opportunity to grace the stage with eight other marvelous women, and put on one of the best Miss Black and Old Gold pageants, the Delta Mu Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated. While we did one good job on that stage, our journey, especially mine didn’t start there. 


Summer 2018 was an interesting one. It was my first summer as a college student, exploring all the opportunities and unemployment home brought me over the vacation. While deciding and debating on what I am going to do this semester, Miss Black and Gold popped up in my head constantly. I remembered being amazed by the pageant the year before. It was beautiful, all of the girls were all different, they won scholarship money and it started on time (West Indian pageants could never). I also wanted to get back into my community service mode and do something for this community that has become my home. All of these factors, including me wanting to get out of my comfort zone, motivated me to sign up for the pageant. 

I was nervous. From the information session to the day of the pageant, I was scared. At the information session my social anxiety was out of the roof and I tried to stick to the corner and gain all the information. Somehow, I found a way to fight through it and write down my information. I felt like I overcame the biggest obstacle in the world, but then I was reminded that I had to do an interview. I was obsessed over the interview. I made sure my application was filled in correctly, that I had enough money to pay the application fee, and to make sure I looked like a human that day. I was stressed. My anxiety didn’t help and I was text rambling to my good big “sister” Gabby.  Walking into the room, earlier than I needed (I blame my father for my super punctuality), our pageant coordinator, the great himself, Payton Morgan, was intimidating. I’m not sure if he knows this, but he scared the crap out of me. Thankfully it was only him, but the interview went well. Well enough to get an email saying we have practice to attend. 

I was excited. I made it on the court. A person who has never done a pageant a day in her life. The closest thing to pageants I’ve been too is attending the children and teen pageants during carnival and laughing at the mean, oh so mean text messages that would pop up on the TelCel board in the carnival village. I had no experience. 

Reading the email, it was stated, be there, on time (we never started on time), in your heels. I read the word heels over and over again and mumbled to myself “what did I do to myself.” 

If you know me, you know heels only come out for Youth Parliament public meetings, the occasional fancy dinners and sometimes church. Heels were not a part of my daily vocabulary. Thankfully, I had a pair of heeled boots that were high enough to function as heels for a couple weeks. 



Walking into that dance room where we held our practices, I was nervous. I knew some of the Alpha’s through our Black Student Union, but I was scared. I wasn’t the most social person on campus, and I was certain I didn’t know half of the folks that were going to be in the room. I was also worried that they would’ve been mean as hell, and I would have to bring out full dialect and cuss out somebody. Luckily for me, I was wrong. I ended up meeting eight wonderful, beautiful and gracious women. Sky Freeman, Kiah Nisbett, Sydney Smith, Courtney Price-Dukes, Michele Valadez, Celine Sengvilay, Madi Laughlin and Brittany Smith, were the best court a girl could ask for. These strong women taught me so many lessons over the nine weeks. From patience, to confidence, they showed me things that I wasn’t expecting to learn during a pageant process. They made every practice fun, held me through countless mental breakdowns and became one of the best support systems I’ve had in a long time. 

Over the weeks, I noticed that we were becoming a family. Not just us girls, but us and the Ice Cold Brothers, of the Delta Mu Chapter. We were laughing, crying, shaking heads, slightly judging and doing everything a family would do. Those men also had a great impact throughout this journey. I would sit down and name all of them, but thirteen names is a lot. 

The journey to November 8th was great. It reminded me on how much I loved dancing, how thrilling it is to put on a production, and that all of this does not come without stress. 



The instrumental of Partition played throughout the CAC Theatre. I, alongside my even numbered sisters, were behind the door, getting ready to walk in and start the opening number. At that moment, everything became real. I was in an opening number outfit, I had on a full face of makeup, and I could’ve heard my roommates yelling from outside. I was brought out of that trance when I realised the door wasn’t opened for us to enter and that our music was ahead. 

I highkey started to panic. But every good performer knows to smile and pretend that everything is going right. So said, so done. We killed the opening number, we killed the show, we were exhausted but we had fun. 

Reality finally set in that this was a competition during the intermission where they were tallying the scores and everyone was backstage together. I quickly grabbed my phone and looked through my messages. Since the pageant wasn’t live streamed, I had my friend Laura record my segments and send it to my mother and my sister. My sister then sent it to the best group chat in the world, Cross Caribbean Link Up. My phone was overwhelmed with positive messages that I started to tear up.

When they called us out on stage for the final time, I was relaxed. I went with the mindset that we put on the best show and whichever one of my girls won, I was screaming for them. I honestly had a full fledge plan to yell out “GOODIE” throughout the entire sashing process. When they called Kiah name for Ms. Black, I was so excited. When they called Courtney’s and I named them for the next two places, I almost threw up. I was in shock. There was no way I was going to win. 

Courtney and I held hugged each other and held hands, and I was telling her that she won, she was telling me that I won, i told her to shut up because it made no sense. She was going to win.

So, as from the beginning of this essay shows, I was wrong. When I was crowned, I cried. Like ugly cried, still not proud of that. I couldn’t believe that it happened. I was in disbelief. From the final walk, to the Alphas singing their hymn and prayer (p.s. I saw some mumbling), to everyone bombarding the stage to congratulate me and ask me about Miss Kansas (like hello, you heard I was from The Friendly Island, Sint Maarten, I don’t have American papers sugah), to my feet killing me, all I wanted was a chair and my mommy. 

Luckily, at the end I got my seat and on the phone with her. I felt at peace. This was a journey, that she was by my side with, even hundreds miles away from me. I felt that I made her proud and that was the only thing that mattered that night. And oh, the after party. That was also very important. 

I end this essay, story, blurb, post, whatever you call it by saying thank you. Thank you to my mommy, my court, my friends, the Alphas, those who cheered for me at the pageant, those who was confused and wanted to yell “THEY CHEAT” at the end of the show, to those who hyped me up on campus, and to those who plastered my face all over the place.

My journey as Miss Black and Gold has just begun. I would be a little MIA on that platform for a moment as I’m taking a break to focus on myself and this blog, but when I do return, I hope you are ready for what I have instore for this wonderful community here in Wichita.

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